Rocky mountain high (part 2)

On Thursday I took a shuttle service from my hotel in Denver to Estes Park. Already in the van were others heading for the same conference. They were picked up at the airport. Our base for the long weekend was the YMCA of the Rockies.

I met Mark on the ride and after lunch he suggested we go hiking together (and before you get snarky, he already has a long-term partner). From the YMCA activities desk we found we could hike about a mile, take the bridge across the creek, and be right at a shuttle stop inside the Rocky Mountain National Park. The shuttle system took us up to Bear Lake, which we hiked around, then back to Glacier Gulch for a hike up to Alberta Falls.

The reason for this trip was to attend the Reconciling Ministries Network Convocation. This is an organization working to get the United Methodist Church to overturn its prohibitions against gay people and to help the denomination to be more inclusive. Most of the organization leadership is gay as were the attendees, though at least a third of the attendees were allies -- and most of them are parents of gay kids. Another large contingent was pastors who believe the denomination should be more inclusive. A third segment was youth. Total attendance was about 520, a significant jump from the 450 who attended two years ago.

Most of my Friday was at a workshop on how to get a congregation to support an inclusive statement of some sort. I've been working on that in my own church for over a year and it is going much more slowly that I thought it would. The workshop provided a lot of resources, though it didn't say much about the process. One participant said he invited a Fundie to speak at his church -- and that caused many to reject the Fundie point of view (I don't want us to be like that!).

The conference was laid out to allow for afternoon activities, a requirement when we're right outside the Rocky Mountain National Park. My Friday activity was a hike, with a YMCA hike master, up to Bible Point, on camp property. It was a strenuous hike up and down and the guide stopped frequently to allow us to rest while he told us about what we were seeing.

The Convo officially opened that evening with a worship service. Naturally, one of the "warm-up" songs before the service began was the "YMCA" song made famous by the Village People. Yes, nearly all 500 of us gays did the hand motions for the letters.

Leave it to the gays to turn a communion service into a party. With so much talk and singing about inclusion I was frequently overwhelmed enough that singing was difficult. On one side of the stage was a 3 panel screen of white cloth. During the several services through the weekend an artist stood behind the screen and painted in a scene of mountains, rainbow, and sky. The paint soaked through so we could see it applied, but not see the brush. Quite cool!

Saturday opened with another worship service. One memorable moment in the service was when we were directed to bow to one another. The front row bowed to the second, the second to the third, on through the auditorium. We did this to follow the custom in some cultures where a bow is a sign of honor. Having one person look you in the eye and bow and then doing the same for another was again overwhelming.

The service was followed by a bible study on the longest prayer by Jesus recorded in John 17.

Next, I attended an hour-long workshop on Rethinking Church. I thought it would be on new ideas for worship, but it was more basic than that. The presenter says she is a part of a small group of 5 or so who live and worship together daily, focus on a particular community need, and support themselves through day jobs. In a sense they create the modern version of the monastery. For example, one such group focuses on helping the 13-16 year olds who drop through the cracks of the social services system.

The leadership of Reconciling Ministries may focus on the church's treatment of gays (who the United Methodist Church officially treats as second-class members), but it is aware that we aren't the only ones discriminated against. The afternoon plenary session featured two presenters from the denomination's General Commission on Race and Religion. The first was Rev. Barbara Isaacs who discussed discrimination featured in Disney movies ("Some Day My Prince Will Come" from Snow White, the depiction of Native Americans in Peter Pan) and popular culture.

The second presenter was Erin Hawkins -- a young black woman who heads the commission and who hears all the time why she shouldn't be the chairperson -- who talked about how discrimination needed both prejudice and the power carry it out. She then had a cross-section of participants stand in a circle to demonstrate what she calls the Privilege Walk. She would read a statement (or its inverse) from various commentaries on privilege and ask people to step forward or back if it applied to them. Examples: "If you were the victim of overt discrimination based on skin color, gender, sexual identity, nationality, or religion, step forward." "If you received a comprehensive sexual education while growing up, step back." The ones most discriminated against ended up in the middle of the circle. The purpose of the exercise isn't to say privilege is to blame -- it isn't something we create for ourselves -- but to raise awareness about the ways in which inequalities and oppression still exist.

Rev. Isaacs returned to talk about levels in Intercultural Sensitivity. Determining a community's level of sensitivity allows them to assess where they are and what they have to do to improve. The levels are Denial, Defense, Minimalization (others are tolerated), Acceptance, Adaptation, and Integration. The last step leads to Ethnorelativism.

I didn't go on a hike that afternoon because I had laundry to do. Turns out I'm glad I didn't -- thunderstorms passed through the area.

The evening plenary session was on the right to marry. This was set up as a panel with one primary person (plus the audience) asking questions of two others, those being Evan Wolfson of Freedom to Marry and Rev. Roland Stringfellow of the Coalition of Welcoming Congregations in San Francisco. Stringfellow and his organization worked to say some churches are not in favor of the Calif. marriage ban.

Wolfson is a fierce and articulate champion of gay marriage and thinks the battle of gay rights is properly fought through marriage. Marriage was also the battleground for the issues of divorce, contraception, and the rights of women. Why should gays be allowed to marry? Well, yeah, there are all those federal benefits and responsibilities that come with the marriage license. But it is more basic than that. Everybody "gets" marriage. Even kids understand it. No explanation is necessary. There are huge cultural associations that come with the term. That same intrinsic understanding does not come with Civil Unions or Domestic Partnerships.

Want another crack at the Calif. marriage ban? You have your chance this fall -- in Maine. I've already donated.

Sunday also started with worship and bible study. This worship service featured a moment when we were anointed with oil on the forehead by the person on one side and passed on the gesture to the person on the other side.

My morning workshop was JUST Worship, a look at how to make the worship experience more inclusive. The presenters told the story about how they were doing a good job by hiring a deaf translator. They didn't realize the disappointment they caused when the morning prayer included a repetition of the phrase, "God, hear our prayer." Once that was pointed out future uses of the prayer were changed to, "God, receive our prayer." Other ideas include reading scripture without gender pronouns, allowing people to say prayers in their own language, providing alternate words for masculine pronouns in hymns, or starting off the Lord's Prayer with other terms for God such as "teacher".

The afternoon plenary session was enlightening. In contrast to the Episcopal and Lutheran Churches who made recent changes in favor of gay people and which are American organizations, the United Methodist prides itself in being a global organization. It is cool that when we gather every four years in General Conference there are delegates from across Europe, Africa, Asia, and South America, as well as from our own country. But that also makes for tensions, especially when the issue is gays.

At the General Conference last year there were proposals put forward to allow more regional autonomy. I'm pretty sure it passed GC. I don't know if it has yet passed all required district votes. The process is similar to the US Senate passing a constitutional amendment that needs ratification by the states.

When the GC convenes the next time in 2012 only 665 of the close to 1000 delegates will be from the USA. Many watchers are convinced that if only the American delegation voted, the anti-gay provisions would easily be removed. But when the rest of the delegates are added in, especially those from Africa, the gay side looks much less certain. In 2008 the key provision against gays was retained by a 54% approval. The worldwide church is growing while the American church is shrinking, which means in the future fewer delegates will be American.

So this plenary session was to hear from the worldwide pro-gay voices. The panel was made up of Bishop Daniel Arichea from the Philippines, Rev. Araceli Ezzatti of Uruguay, Rev. Eunice Musa Illiya (means Moses Elijah) from Nigeria, a pastor (I didn't get the name) from Zambia, and a representative (again, no name) from the organization Other Sheep. Each one introduced themselves by describing how they became advocates for gay people, the incident that caused them to change their minds. Rev. Eunice had also been a worship preacher and told the story of how Nigerian pastors and bishops had strategized how to keep their influence over Americans to prevent gay-friendly policies and how she was shouted down by a bishop when she tried to object. Here are some of the things they discussed:

* Many of the denomination publications are created for American use, irritating the global church.

* The Zambian pastor is challenging the American Evangelicals (and, yes, they are a part of the United Methodist denomination, just as liberals are), saying Americans are using Africans to get what they want. Africans need to hear Americans don't speak for them and the relationship is filled with hypocrisy. But it doesn't work to denounce the bible, which Africans strongly believe in. Instead, Africans must develop an African interpretation of the bible. I've heard a story about "using Africa" at GC -- the Fundies gave African delegates free cell phones and just before "critical" votes, these delegates would get calls reminding them of the *proper* way to vote full of indirect implications.

* The Other Sheep organization works to support gay-friendly pastors around the world, no matter the denomination. They work to connect these pastors to like-minded people and to available resources.

* The Filipino bishop wondered whether the denomination should be global. Too often American efforts come across as attempts to recolonize the global church, to impose American values (such as insisting a bride wear white). The Philippines don't want to be dependent on the American church, but to be partners with it.

Reconciling Ministries leaders are now saying, "You're going to insist that the gay issues be voted on by the global church? Fine. We'll go global too."

My afternoon hike was another one led by a YMCA guide. This time we went into the Rocky Mountain Park over a glacial lateral moraine (the dirt and boulders pushed to the side of a glacier) and into the meadow known as Moraine Park. We heard thunder and our guide said in the case of lightening we would turn back. He didn't say how close the lightening had to be to force the decision. It rained enough that we all put our raingear on.

The evening program was a very well put together presentation of the 25 years of Reconciling Ministries -- yes, we've been at this fight for 25 years now. The show include lots of photos and a few videos of key moments. There were also awards handed out for individuals and groups that have made a big impact over the last couple years.

Through sessions on Sunday evening and Monday morning we were introduced to the next campaign of the battle, called Believe Out Loud. A survey noted that 68% of pastors in the denomination say that gay people should be fully inclusive. Yet only 7% of pastors publicly proclaim that position. You believe gays should be included? Then believe out loud and actually say it.

Our closing worship service featured preaching by Bishop Grant Hagiya. I think he serves in Calif. Yup, a bishop publicly on our side. He spoke about courage and integrity.

Somehow I knew that when we were to board vans back into Denver I would have problems because I had contracted to go back to the same hotel while the others were going to the airport. There were several vans for the 2:00 crowd and a guy with a clipboard checking off names. I went up to him and said what I wanted. He said, "It's not possible." I reminded him I had paid extra for the service. Mr. Clipboard said, "Not possible." One of the drivers intervened saying, "I'll take him." So I climbed into the last seat in the back of the van.

Our next stop was the airport. Over the nearly two hours to get there all of us chatted about what a wonderful conference it was and what we would be doing once back home. The driver couldn't help but listen and understand his van was filled with gay Christians and allies. Once everyone else was dropped off at the airport the driver asked me to check the seats. I found a cell phone. The driver tried to find the owner and waited in the area until the owner asked someone to call her phone and she and the driver could arrange where to meet.

Once that was handled and it was only me and the driver and heading to my hotel he asked, "Could I ask you a few questions?" I agreed. He said he could tell we were all gay or gay allies and that we were also all Christian. I confirmed that. What follows is a rough summary of our discussion.

He considers himself a conservative and the new openness of gay people makes him afraid. Of what? I eventually pieced together his fear is of a general moral decline. That might be seen as a narrow viewpoint -- that all morals come from the church -- but that was what he had been taught.

Won't gay openness lead to bestiality? Won't people demand to marry their dogs? Sorry, that idea is a smokescreen. Besides, dogs can't consent to marriage.

Are there any types of relationships that gays would consider immoral? Won't it be anything goes? When I hesitated he added, What about a father and daughter? Yes, gays would consider sex between them as wrong because it is about power and lust, not love. We talked about a couple more examples of power relations. Can we always tell the difference between power and love? No, some couples don't figure it out until later, which is one reason why some divorce. What about abuse? Yes, gays think abuse is wrong.

I believe the bible says gay relationships are wrong! The bible says very little about gay relationships (I couldn't quote chapter and verse), but the bible says a lot more about divorce and greed. Of those few verses some have translation problems, some are routinely misinterpreted (Sodom and Gomorrah), and others are grouped with prohibitions we believe no longer apply, such as eating shrimp.

Are there gay relationships in the bible? Jonathan and David, perhaps. He wasn't convinced. What about the sex life of Jesus? -- he did go through puberty. Since the bible offers no information on the topic it is prudent not to speculate.

I have considerable respect for this guy. Though he knew we were gay or allies, he went out of his way to help us. That started with volunteering to drive the extra miles to get me to my hotel when Mr. Clipboard insisted it wasn't possible. My respect is mostly because in spite of his personal belief, he asked to hear my side of the issue rather than remaining silent. If he was inclined to lecture I'm sure he would not have while driving a company van.