So much more than a contract

My niece in Berkeley told me about a blog one of her professors is writing. He is Rev. Dr. Jay and his blog is Queerly Christian. He talks about more than religious issues of sexual minorities. His general idea is that what Jesus taught is quite a bit different from what many Christian leaders teach and also quite different from modern American society, which sometimes claims a Christian foundation. Thus what Jay discusses might seem queer (using an old definition) to both Christians and the larger society.

After that buildup, I'm going to look at a gay-related issue, a series of postings he wrote about marriage, prompted by gay marriage made legal in New York. Here are some of the points he made.

Because, for so many of us, health care comes through employment and thus through marriage, many couples are pressured into marriage for the health care. That isn't a good reason to marry.

Civil marriage is a legal contract between two people. It is from a time when the woman was property and the man had to secure inheritance rights. The church should emphasize that marriage is so much more, a covenant between the couple. To point out the difference the church should end its collusion with the state.

How can the church end that collusion? Jay gives a three-part answer.

* Keep changing marriage. Yes, this is opposite of what the Fundies say. We've ended practices that supported white male privilege (women are no longer property, racially mixed marriages permitted). Keep going to eliminate the economic and social benefits to marriage so that marriage is a covenant, not a contract.

* When a pastor signs the state-issued marriage certificate he/she is endorsing the state's definition of marriage. That makes it harder for the church to talk of the marriage covenant.

* Jay's third point is about the Episcopal Diocese of Long Island, which declared that a pastor in a gay relationship must get married. Wait! Hasn't the Episcopal Church already blessed the union? Why then do we need the state to make a marriage official for the church?

Is marriage more than what one gets from a Las Vegas Wedding Chapel? The church can say more.

* The family is much more than the married couple. Jay is disagreeing with Fundies who claimed "Marriage makes the family." A mother and son also make a family and it is because of love, care, compassion, and commitment, not a contract.

* As mentioned before, health care is frequently attached to marriage so that marriage becomes a necessity. Why should some types of social relations have privileges attached to them. Everyone should have access to what they need to thrive.

* Why is fidelity seen only in sexual terms? Why not also judge fidelity in how the family prepares its members for work in compassion, generosity, and hospitality in the wider community?

Civil marriage equality is good and necessary for social justice. But it is not nearly enough to create a family that thrives.