What determines “biological sex?” Some people want others to conform to their definitions of sex. This definitely a supremacy move to enforce male dominance and punish those that want to switch genders. But what test to apply?
Rebecca Helm describes herself as a “friendly neighborhood biologist,” though she is a professor at the University of North Carolina. She works through
what makes us look male or female.
We’re used to the XX chromosome as what creates a female and XY as what creates a male. But it is really just one gene on the Y chromosome that turns on all the male traits. And sometimes that gene shows up on an X chromosome and not on the Y chromosome.
There’s more. Even with this single male gene other genes signal how much sex hormones to produce and still others determine how receptive cells are to these hormones.
One could have the XY chromosome, not have the male trigger gene, yet still produce a lot of testosterone, but whose cells aren’t sensitive to that hormone.
So is this person male? Female? Both? Neither?
Let’s just call them all human – and worthy of respect.
A reply included
a chart from Scientific American that shows all the permutations. Alas, the print is small and hard to read.
Peggy Orenstein wrote
the article The Miseducation of the American Boy for the January/February 2020 issue of
The Atlantic. She spent two years talking to more than 100 boys ages 16-21 all across America. Though she talked to boys of all races and ethnicities she talked only to those in college or who were college-bound because they are most likely to set cultural norms.
These boys showed a huge shift from the norms of 50 or maybe only 20 years ago. They know what *toxic masculinity* is. Yet, when asked to describe the attributes of “the ideal guy” they used the standard cultural definitions – dominance, aggression, sexual prowess, stoicism, and all the rest.
While girls see many ways of being a girl (though still valued
primarily for appearance), these boys described only one route to successful masculinity. They felt they needed to “suck it up,” to control girlfriends, be ever ready for sex with as many women as possible, and to shun homosexuality (even as they have gay friends).
While following the conventional script may still bring social and professional rewards to boys and men, research shows that those who rigidly adhere to certain masculine norms are not only more likely to harass and bully others but to themselves be victims of verbal or physical violence. They’re more prone to binge-drinking, risky sexual behavior, and getting in car accidents. They are also less happy than other guys, with higher depression rates and fewer friends in whom they can confide.
This definition of masculinity wasn’t always the active one. In the late 19th century, when we still worked from home a man was compassionate and a caretaker. But as paid labor came from the factory those traits lost favor. During WWI women showed they could keep the home front humming. Shortly after that they got the vote. In response leaders emphasized the inalienable male right to power.
Now parents are unsure how to raise sons. That leads to a void that the culture of dominance gladly fills. However, this stunted masculinity yardstick is the way boys are measured.
Cole (names are pseudonyms) prefers to team up with girls on school projects to avoid appearing subordinate to another guy. He couldn’t discuss much of anything with his divorced father.
Rob can’t talk to his father either. He’s always told to “man up.” He gets the message if you can’t handle this on your own you’re not a man. He learned to confide in nobody. He had to keep his guard up.
Well, confide in nobody
male. They boys confided in girlfriends, mothers, and sisters. But that teaches them that women are responsible for processing men’s emotional lives, which would be too emasculating for them to do themselves. Crying is seen as humiliating. Men can become unable to express emotions and be ill-equipped to form caring, lasting adult relationships.
Sports culture, now known as “bro culture,” teaches pride, integrity, teamwork, and bonding – with those on the team. Those not on the team – such as women – are the enemy. Masculinity is established through misogyny and homophobia.
The word
fag, long a pejorative against gay men, doesn’t get used against gay men, but more a referendum on a boy’s manhood. Adding
no homo to a sentence is an inoculation against insults from other guys. That doesn’t mean gay boys are safe. But any boy who isn’t a jock isn’t safe either.
Bragging about sexual conquest is a crucial aspect of toxic masculinity. At 16 reputation is everything. But the need to brag makes boys afraid of intimacy. They need to prove themselves, they need to dominate. The girl – and it can’t be a “slutty” girl – is only a means to brag. And gossip about a poor “performance” can destroy a boy’s reputation.
A boy’s words to describe a sexual encounter to other boys tend to use violent language – nail, pound, bang, and others.
It’s not like I imagined boys would gush about making sweet, sweet love to the ladies, but why was their language so weaponized? The answer, I came to believe, was that locker-room talk isn’t about sex at all, which is why guys were ashamed to discuss it openly with me. The (often clearly exaggerated) stories boys tell are really about power: using aggression toward women to connect and to validate one another as heterosexual, or to claim top spots in the adolescent sexual hierarchy. Dismissing that as “banter” denies the ways that language can desensitize—abrade boys’ ability to see girls as people deserving of respect and dignity in sexual encounters.
When called out, boys will claim they were being “funny.” But such humor hides sexism. And can escalate. When they get to “hilarious” they’re learning to disregard others’ feelings. And when decency compels them to speak up they become the target of derision.
The psychologists Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson, the authors of Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys, have pointed out that silence in the face of cruelty or sexism is how too many boys become men. Charis Denison, a sex educator in the Bay Area, puts it another way: “At one time or another, every young man will get a letter of admission to ‘dick school.’ The question is, will he drop out, graduate, or go for an advanced degree?”
It is time to rethink how we raise boys. Obviously. But …
it’s a mistake to underestimate the strength and durability of the cultural machinery at work on adolescent boys. Real change will require a sustained, collective effort on the part of fathers, mothers, teachers, coaches. (A study of 2,000 male high-school athletes found significantly reduced rates of dating violence and a greater likelihood of intervening to stop other boys’ abusive conduct among those who participated in weekly coach-led discussions about consent, personal responsibility, and respectful behavior.)
Note that those discussions were
coach-led. Which, at the very least, means the coaches were not urging the boys to be misogynistic, they were not part of the problem.
Cole wants to be part of the solution, even though he failed to stand up for good when younger. He said about the culture of misogyny:
To go up against that, to convince people that we don’t need to put others down to lift ourselves up … I don’t know. I would need to be some sort of superman. Maybe the best I can do is to just be a decent guy. The best I can do is lead by example. I really hope that will make a difference.
