Thankful I’m gay

Mikey Rox writes The Frivolist, a column that appears in Between the Lines, the LGBT newspaper for Michigan. In this week’s edition the column is titled, “10 Reasons I’m Thankful I’m Gay.” There was a time in his life (and in many gay lives) where he though it would be so much easier to be straight. But now he considers being gay a blessing and shares his gratitude. Here’s his list and under a few of them I’ll give my own version.

1. Compassion and empathy comes naturally. Rox wrote:

I know what it feels like to be called names and spat on and beaten for being different, and every day those memories inform how I treat others. In hindsight, I’ve realized that many people lack compassion and empathy because they’ve never known what it feels like to need and want it.

I add: I wasn’t picked on for being gay. But I saw how other LGBT people were treated and knew it could have easily been me. I agree that being gay and battling the church’s stance on LGBT people has very much formed my sense of compassion.

2. No accidental babies.
My version: I’m also definitely a party of one.

3. I wouldn’t know half the people I love.
My version: My important friends at my current church are in the LGBT community. I’ve been feeling a bit adrift lately because a couple of them have been out due to health issues.

4. I’ve helped change people’s minds about the LGBT community.
My version: I tend not to discuss the issue with our opponents. But as I’ve become more comfortable with my orientation those around me have taken it in stride and have also added a touch of challenge to the world.

5. An appreciation for the male body.
I’ll leave it at that.

6. I live by my own rules. Rox wrote:

Today, I don’t give a f*** what anybody thinks about my sexual orientation. This is my life. Come along or don’t, but this ride isn’t stopping for anybody.

7. My open-mindedness grants me access to experiences that many people are afraid of. Rox wrote:

I’m living my truth and learning every day about all the different people with whom I share this planet.

I add: Part of my reply is the learning I do through this blog. I’ve become quite interested in how patriarchy affects the lives of women. Part of my reply is if I wasn’t gay I doubt I’d volunteer at the Ruth Ellis Center where most of the youth are black.

8. My humor, even as a defense mechanism, makes me more attractive.
My version: Sheesh, I’m not skating through life on my looks.

9. I wouldn’t have such a satisfying career.
Rox is paid to write about gay issues. My careers in the auto industry and in teaching at a local college may not have been different if I was straight. But my “job” of writing this blog came about because I’m gay and the evolution of my ideas and principles and ethics developed through this writing.

10. My life would be completely different – and I love it just the way it is.
My version: Back in high school and college when I dated women (perhaps I just “hung out” with them?) I assumed I would marry and have kids. I didn’t and I love what I have now.

A few years ago I realized I’m a complete package. The gay parts influence the ethics parts and the compassion parts and the music parts and everything else. My ethics would be a lot different if I wasn’t gay. I suspect I would have matured to be a lot less tolerant and accepting. I love what I have now.