Two years

I should post this tomorrow, but I’ll be busy, then tired.

Tomorrow marks two years since Dad died.

The photo above is undated, though I think it was taken in the late 1940s when Dad was in college.

My busyness tomorrow will be going up to Dad’s house and getting the remaining stuff into boxes. I started that process two and a half years ago (about the time I took Dad to the hospital the first time). I’ve carted stacks of magazines to the recycle bin, had a junk truck come twice, hauled stuff to two church rummage sales, and helped a relative or two raid the house for furniture. My sister has moved out and taken her furniture. Even so there is still stuff to be boxed and dealt with.

A carpet cleaning crew came to the house last week. I plan to get enough stuff out that a general cleaning crew can come this week. And then I meet with the realtor. While prospective buyers look the place over I’ll get the last of the furniture out to a resale shop or to Goodwill.

I guess a post like this is supposed to give a sense of my emotional change in the last two years. I miss Dad. I also miss my brother, my sister-in-law, and Mom – all of whom died in these last two years. I’ve spent hundreds of hours and driven dozens of trips to get that house ready to sell, plus more time managing my parent’s affairs. So I guess the big emotion of the moment is relief – I’m almost done. The end is in sight. I can get back to taking care of my own house.

I’ve also been thinking that house enclosed my family for more than half a century. I and my siblings grew up in that house. We all made frequent trips back for various family gatherings – Christmas, Thanksgiving, Mother’s Day, and birthdays. Lots of joys and sorrows and simply life. When Dad got a job at Central Michigan University, 80 miles away, Mom said, “This is my house. I’m not moving.” Dad shared an apartment he used twice a week. There are many warm memories of events in this house.

A lot of family history stuff is now in my house. My den (a room I don’t use much) is full of it. I’ve gone through some of it and sorting through all of it will take years. I’ve been digitizing slides – Dad took lots of pictures – and that effort will also continue for a while. I’ve now seen family photos I’d never seen before – Dad’s graduation from college, Mom as president of women’s church groups, my grandparents when they were young, and many family gatherings. I’ve explored and updated the genealogy database my parents started. I’ve seen a part of my parents (and their parents) I hadn’t seen before.

I’ve also had to acknowledge my parents’ shortcomings, such as my Dad keeping stuff long after it was useful, a trait my mother shared and taught to me and my siblings. I’ve been hitting that one as I look at the stuff in my own house.

Even so… Dad, I miss you.