Monday, September 14, 2020

How to be a good ally

Marissa Higgins of Daily Kos discussed how to be a good ally. All of us can be an ally. A citizen can be an ally of the undocumented. A white person can be an ally of people of color. I can both need an ally because I’m gay and be an ally to those who are transgender. Higgins offers ten points on how to be an effective ally.

1. You are not a savior, you don’t have the lived experience.

2. Thank people for sharing their experiences. While you might want more details for understanding, asking can require more emotional labor for the one who shared and might feel like an investigation, gaslighting, or victim blaming. So say, “Thank you for trusting me with your story,” and find what you need elsewhere.

3. You’re not the center of attention. If a situation makes you feel guilty or uncomfortable, don’t expect marginalized people to make you feel better.

4. If a conversation gets heated, take a break. Reject the desire to “win” the argument.

5. Look for sources not written by straight white men.

6. Do your own research. Don’t require marginalized people to explain things to you.

7. Make your actions as loud as your words. As an action donations are great. At events do the background tasks (like getting snacks) while the people of color speak and run the discussion.

8. Don’t ask others how to show up for them. That requires work for them. Do your own research on what a group might need.

9. You’ll make mistakes. Apologize. People have the right to feel upset and may not forgive you, and that’s OK.

10. Keep showing up.

The end of the post includes several videos on how to be an ally.

In the comments John Sitzman adds to be careful of social media. Many platforms are geared towards inciting and perpetuating conflict. That’s not a good way to be an ally.



I mentioned that Joe Biden was working to counter whatever legal maneuvering the nasty guy will pull during and after the election. Laura Clawson of Kos reported that Biden is indeed building an election protection program, “far more sophisticated and resourced” than previous Democratic campaigns. Clawson then lists some of the things the GOP and the nasty guy have said they intend to do. However, Biden’s plan doesn’t relieve us of the responsibility of doing what we can to protect the vote.



Wajahat Ali of the New York Times tweeted a thread:
After the 9-11 terror attacks, Muslims have spent 20 years condemning violent acts done by extremists they've never met. It's never enough. Our loyalty and patriotism is still held as suspect and our acceptance is always conditional based on our alleged moderation.

It's not just Muslims who became the "enemy" after 9-11 as we still pursue our endless War on Terror, it was anyone who looked Muslim, including Sikhs, Christian Arabs & Indian Hindus. Hate crimes spiked, an entire Islamophobia Industry blossomed (read Fear Inc, our report).

After 9-11, "Islam" became the enemy & it was now a civilizational war. The West vs Islam, whatever that means, US vs the Axis of Evil, and those who were born and raised here like me became both "us" & "them." My only utility & worth is how I help US national security.

1.7 billion people and 1400 years of Islamic civilization became reduced to the image of "Rage Boy" (go Google it.) We became TV's convenient villain (see 24 and early Homeland.) The one good Muslim is usually the one helping fight the hordes of evil Muslims.
...
This country went so crazy many smear Obama as a Muslim to this day. Islam is used as kryptonite to paint him as foreign and evil.
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I look forward to the day where we can be seen as fellow Americans and accepted as such without conditionality based on moderation or condemning terror done in violation of our faith.

All of this...is never-ending and exhausting.



I’ve started a new project today. I signed on to Vote Forward. The goal is to is to encourage people who are inconsistent in their voting to make an effort this year. For me it means I download a packet of 20 letters and print them. They have a space for me to add a couple sentences on why voting is important to me. Then I address the envelopes, put stamps on them, and save them. I’m to mail them the week before the election – much before then and the might be ignored. My cost is paper, ink, envelopes, and stamps. I’ve downloaded 20 letters this morning and written my sentences on ten of them.

If you would like to join the effort their website is here. They announced that five million letters have been prepared and they have a goal of ten million.

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