Feeling good about not being special

Matthew Phelps is a captain in the Marines and is also gay. In a long essay he talks about the pressure of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Then he talks about the pressure of its repeal -- everyone seems to be watching the gay guy, waiting for him to screw up, so they can pounce, "See, I told you allowing gays to serve openly was a bad idea!"

Then Phelps tells us about his experience of taking a date to the annual formal Birthday Ball, when the corps celebrates the date the Marine Corps was founded.

I introduced Brandon and they were all as nice as could be. My Regimental Commander, a colonel, asked him if it was his first Marine Birthday Ball, I think realizing as soon as the words left his mouth how silly the question must have sounded. The memorable part of that moment, however, wasn’t the potential embarrassment of asking the gay date of the gay Marine if he’d been to such an event before, but that he asked the same exact question he would have asked any Marine’s date. I wasn’t pretending to fit in any more, trying to disguise the unique part of me that I couldn’t tell anyone about, I was just another Marine celebrating the birthday, and Brandon was just another date. Never before in my life had it felt so good to be no one special.

There were lots of comments to this series of posts, some apparently from the Marines who serve under Phelps. I didn't read them all, but those I read were all supportive.