The gayest place around

Jallen Rix was caught up in an ex-gay programs, one of those programs that tried to make him straight. It didn't work (of course). He is now a therapist. He created a survey and asked others who went through such programs to tell him about their experiences. That has turned into a book, Ex-Gay No Way: Survival and Recovery from Religious Abuse. This is important because no one has studied these people before. Because of the methodology the percentages cannot be used to describe all who went through the program. Even so, a big and important part of the survey was where responders could comment about their experiences.

A question was why did you enter the program? Answers: I believed it was what God wanted me to do. I wanted to be normal. I was told I was sinful. I was told I had demons. My pastor insisted.

Why did you quit the program? Answers: I saw nobody was being changed. My program leader was hitting on me. I tried to kill myself. My "exorcism" scared me. Why wasn't God healing me?

How were you harmed? Answers: I developed an eating disorder. Multiple suicide attempts. Screwed up sense of love and intimacy. Developed sexual addictions.

What good has come from the experience? Answers: I was finally able to accept myself. I saw for myself that changing my orientation wasn't possible. I learned I had to be real. I learned there were other gay Christians and made friends. I saw how privilege works -- the more I was seen as straight the more doors opened for me, so I understand oppression. I learned valuable discipline. Met other gay people and started dating in a safe space.

That last comment shows that an ex-gay conference is actually the gayest place around.