I'd like you to meet my ... um ... special friend

Bummed out over the Calif. marriage ban? Feel turnabout is fair play? You can personally refuse to recognize any marriage. Whenever you speak replace the words husband, wife, spouse, or fiancé with such words as special friend, life companion, partner, boyfriend, or girlfriend. When called on it you can say, "I'm sorry, my beliefs don't recognize your marriage." Hopefully then you can have a discussion about religious beliefs and legal rights, or at least about how the minority feels when their relationship is dismissed.


Gays and their allies aren't the only ones with a stake in whether the Calif. Supremes overturn the marriage protection amendment. Leaving it in place means that a simple majority can overturn the equal protection clause for any minority it doesn't like. But this is liberal California and we just elected a black president! Even so, this has happened before. In the 19th Century, Chinese were imported to build railroads but were denied lots of rights. In the 20th, even California had segregation laws. But this is the first time such discrimination was written into the state constitution. Future possible targets? Prisoners and undocumented workers.


Gays feel sacrificed to the Mormon political agenda. Mormons now feel intimidated with scare tactics. Attitudes are hardening. Time for a step back and a look at the larger picture.

Some gays now declare sentiments similar to "Organized religion is an obstacle for progression." Alas, that is an untrue stereotype. Desmond Tutu, Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi are counterexamples. Religion is a central feature of our society and large civil movements need religious voices or they don't get far. We must reach those voices to speak for us. Not all Mormons and not all Christians supported the marriage ban.

And to Mormons: Your political involvement has consequences. If your actions were truly directed by God then your faith should be able to withstand a few hundred thousand protesters.

We cannot achieve social justice by ignoring those who disagree with us. We get it when we also work for reconciliation.


Many of the army of Mormon missionaries are feeling the heat for their church's actions against gays. They're finding it hard to get prospective converts to return a call, and when they do it is frequently, "How could you!" But leadership is reveling in their newfound power of playing a significant role in the culture wars.