Abstaining from drink and relationships

While down at Motor City Pride last week I stopped at the table of a Presbyterian Church (don't remember which one) promoting its friendliness to gays. I saw a video, Through My Eyes (not the one by Tim Tebow) that was from the point of view of those excluded from the church and how that made them feel. Alas, it wasn't for sale. Those at the table wanted to book places to show the video. At the moment my church would ignore such an event. However, I do want to see it and told them when they do have a showing to let me know. Then again, I can get it online.

Also at the table were a couple essays by people who now accept gays in the church. I took copies of both and have now read one of them. This essay is "And grace will lead me home" by Mark Achtemeier. It was written for the denomination's 2009 Covenant Network Gathering. I'm pleased the printed version also contains a web address so you can read it yourself.

It has been at least 20 years since I first heard homosexuality compared to alcoholism. A person may not choose to be an alcoholic, but one can improve his/her life by abstaining from alcohol. The Fundies claim the same is true for a gay person.

Following that comparison a bit further meant that calls for equal rights make no sense. Who would allow an addict more access to alcohol? Who would let a gay person to pursue self-destructive behaviors, a harmful compulsion?

Then Achtmeier had a chance to talk (as in deep conversations over a period of time) with some gay people and learned why the comparison to alcohol doesn’t work.

He found gays were not hedonists, doing their most to undermine the teachings of God. Instead he encountered devoted Christian believers.

In contrast to what Achtmeier had been taught, these gay people talked about relationships that brought out their best, that stretched their ability to love and required sacrifice. Which sounded just like his own marriage. In addition, when gay people followed the advice he used to give out to be celebate they found life to be morally and spiritually crippling. They did not flourish the same way an alcoholic did when finally free from the drink, but quite the opposite.

That prompted Achtmeier to look again at the balance between experience and scripture. This is something that John Wesley talked about in the Methodist Quadrilateral, but I don't think it is part of the Presbyterian tradition. If our experience is counter to what the Bible says there are three possibilities.

The first is that we say experience trumps scripture. But too many times that is a way to do whatever we want and not what God says is best for us. The second is to always follow the scripture even though its rules and prohibitions may spiritually cripple us.

The third is to compare the two and to see if the current way of looking at scripture is actually correct. For example, we are told to do what Jesus did. Jesus walked on water. It is obvious we can't do that. Perhaps we need to look at that story differently.

In the same way we look at the church teachings of celibacy, in particular gay celibacy. Celibacy is held up as an ideal by St. Paul. But some (most) people don't have a calling to be celibate. And for that St. Paul has a remedy -- marriage. Trying to be celibate when one is not called to be leads to spiritual problems.

If homosexuality does not correspond to alcoholism, what is it? Achtmeier says it is simply a natural variation of humanity that wasn't understood at the time the Bible was written.

As expected, the responses to this posting online fall into two groups. One group thanks Achtmeier for words of grace so desperately needed. The other says he has sullied the Christian message so deeply he has condemned himself to hell.