Vision for a pluralistic society

A couple weeks ago I wrote that Robert Mouw of Fuller Theological Seminary wrote an essay for Newsweek in which decried the screeching that substitutes for discussion around gay marriage. Though he voted for the Calif. ban he was conciliatory enough that I wrote a letter to him offering to continue the discussion. I was going to actually send it through snail-mail -- but my mailman arrived 3 hours early that Saturday, so I sent it by email instead.

I'm disappointed, though not at all surprised, that he did not respond. He has made no mention of the essay (much less me) in his personal blog. Even Newsweek printed no letters about it. Since my friend and debate partner asked about the letter I thought it is now time to post it here.

Mr. Robert Mouw, President

Dear Sir,
I read your Less Shouting, More Talking My Turn essay in Newsweek with mixed emotions. I agree that the debate on homosexuality tends to be overheated and leads to screeching on both sides. I am intrigued by the questions you pose and your request to discuss this issue in a calm manner with both sides respecting the other. I am also a Christian who happens to be gay. I'm still feeling the sting from the loss of same-sex marriage in California, more than I was from the passage of gay-marriage amendment in Michigan four years ago.

I was struck by the incongruity in your essay where you wrote, "As an Evangelical, I subscribe to the 'traditional' definition of a marriage, and I do not want to see the definition changed," followed immediately by, "Does that mean I want to impose my personal convictions on the broader population? No." To me it sounds like you have imposed your convictions on me. Yet, I can relate to your plea for a calm discussion. I'm also angry about the untrue things that have been said about me and fellow gays.

Because I am both gay and Christian, I have worked to understand the debate, to know which verses of the Bible are used against me and the array of interpretations of each. I also keep current on the latest studies on the nature of homosexuality. I do not have a degree in theology, but feel I could engage in a meaningful discussion. You can get to know me a bit better through my webpage, at [...] which features my music and work as my congregation's stewardship guide, and through my blog at http://gaycrowsnest.blogspot.com/.

You asked in the essay, "Can we talk?" I reply, yes we can. Will you listen? Many of my gay associates believe you want us to hear you but you have no intention of hearing our side. Even so, I thank you for at least asking for a quiet discussion.

I found your blog and saw that you make a distinction between being an Evangelical and a fundamentalist. That gives me hope that perhaps you might indeed listen. Even so, I am aware I probably won't change your ideas of homosexuality any more than you will change mine. I hope, however, that we both can refine our terms of debate. This may seem like a small gain, yet during the Proposition 8 campaign I and many fellow gays were deeply hurt by the lies which made up the core of the public debate. This included such lies as allowing gay marriage will mean that pastors who oppose it will be hauled from pulpits on hate-crime charges. That left us wondering whether Christians take the Ten Commandments seriously.

To start our debate I'll answer some of the questions you posed in your Newsweek essay. I don't know your views on some of the particulars, so I can only answer based on the loudest voices that condemn people like me.

What is it about people like me that frighten you so much? There are two parts to my answer. The first scare comes from voices that proclaim their interpretation of the Bible is the only correct one and anyone who does not agree is condemned to Hell. The second is the complete dismissal we encounter when we say, "I didn't choose to be gay."

What would you need to hear from us that would reduce your anxiety? Regret for using extreme and inaccurate claims -- that allowing homosexuality will cause the downfall of Western Civilization, that the existence of gays caused the destruction of New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, that allowing gay marriage will mean allowing bestiality.

What is your vision of a flourishing pluralistic society? That we have one. At the moment we don't. I’m pleased that you asked this question. I hope for a society in which the worth of all people is taken seriously; where black, white, and Hispanic worship together; where we trust an atheist or Muslim with the American presidency because he or she is obviously the most capable; where public policy is debated without demonizing any group here or abroad; where we seek policies for rehabilitation instead of blindly filling our jails; where a corporate CEO insists the workers get a portion of that year's profits rather than fattening his own bank account; where health care doesn't depend on the generosity of your employer; where citizens willingly deny themselves some pleasures for the benefit of the environment; where students of inner-city schools look forward to college; where abortion is rare because teens get complete sexual education, including the value of marriage; where adoption by a gay couple is treated as joyously as any other adoption.

Where do people like me fit into that kind of society? Right beside us helping to make it happen.

If you are intrigued enough to continue this debate you may reach me through either the postal or email addresses given above (I would prefer email). You have my blessings to feature this letter (and any future correspondence) in your blog. I'll be doing the same on my own blog. You might start by allowing me to ask those same questions of you.

I thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
(The Crow)