Harming the sanctity of marriage

Benjamin Corey describes himself as a former fundamentalist. He writes a blog hosted by Pantheos. While still a fundie he repeated the often-told line that allowing gays to marry would harm the sanctity of marriage. But then he lived in states that allowed his gay friends to marry and noticed same-sex marriage hasn't affected the sanctity of his own marriage.

Not even a little. The fact that I’ve lived in states where my LGBT friends and neighbors are treated equal in the eyes of the law has not in the smallest way, done anything to harm the “sanctity” of my marriage.

But, you know who has?

Me.

Yeah, I’m the biggest threat to the sanctity of my marriage.

When I’m selfish, self-centered, put my needs ahead of my wife’s, and don’t treat her the way she deserves to be treated?

Yeah, that’s what affects the sanctity of my marriage. When my marriage has been at rocky points, and during the times it lost its sense of beauty, it can usually be traced back to yours truly.

The other big threat to the sanctity of marriage is divorce. And a big component of that is the conservative Protestant culture of divorce. Where fundie community norms and institutions are prevalent the rate of divorce increases, even when the couple is not a member of a fundie church.

On the list of things that threaten the sanctity of marriage, the gay community doesn't make the cut. So Corey offers an apology for opposing and slandering us.

Apology accepted.

In another post Corey describes why he is no longer a fundie. He wrote the post as a lover stating the reasons why he is leaving a relationship that isn't working. It isn't the beliefs, he says, it is the culture. His reasons:

He is tired of always trying to earn approval and acceptance. He is tired of the (fundie) church seeing people as objects to be converted instead of people to love. The church is more interested in changing him than in knowing him.

He is tired of the way the church treats women and his gay friends.

He is tired of the obsession with guns. That's a bizarre view of Jesus and creates a culture of violence.

He is tired of the insistence that Jesus was a Republican. Jesus said, "Follow me," not, "Follow the Republican National Committee."

He is tired of the obsession with power and control.

He is tired of finances going towards things like the Creation Museum and not social justice.

A few days later he responded with many of the things he does like about the fundie church, which is why it was so difficult to leave.

The church is great at lively worship. It is great at building community. It is great at its dedication of the Bible.