Why put up with the hassle and expense

Peterson Toscano is an ex-gay survivor and now works to combat the ex-gay industry. He is frequently asked why he spent many years and $30,000 in an attempt to de-gay himself. Years after quitting the program he can now analyze all the reasons why he did it:

Because "everybody" said you can't be gay and Christian. Rising in the church hierarchy is impossible for gays.

To marry and have children.

To not be alone.

Assumption that all gays got HIV and other sexual diseases.

Desire to fit in to feel normal.

Straight life was the idealized norm shown in the media. Gays were shown as abnormal (if at all). Society punishes sexual deviants. Resulted in internalize homophobia.

Fear of being attacked for being gay.

Desire to please and fear of losing family and friends.

Fear that orientation was caused by sexual abuse.

Cowardice to stand against society.

He concludes that he has found integrity and honesty is so much better.