Friday, July 1, 2011

Spreading the benefits

The ability of same-sex couples to legally marry is beneficial to more than same-sex couples. Linda Hirhsman, writing for Slate, says straight women benefit. In other words, gay marriage does redefine marriage, and for the better. Says Hirshman, "Well, same-sex marriage shows that people can make long-term, loving, sexual bonds with each other even where neither is naturally inclined to tell the other what to do."

Yes, indeedie, our foes know this. They are fighting so hard against marriage equality for gays because they are really fighting against marriage equality for women. The direct assault on equality -- women are only suitable for being wife and mother -- may be over, but the assault continues. It's just more subtle. Such as the claim that women in equal relationships are less happy. As women expect more from marriage, the reasoning goes, conflict increases and men's dissatisfaction increases. Yup, it's all about keeping the man happy so he can earn more money.

Happy, same-sex couples who want to get married are a feminist windfall, proving the prevailing wisdom wrong. Women can be equal and happy.


A blogger, who calls herself Seething Mom because her former church rejects her gay son, says the availability of gay marriage helps people like her -- parents of gay children. She wrote:

I can tell you this in no uncertain terms, it is very difficult for parents to teach their gay children that they should abide by the same moral standards as their straight counterparts when the most prominent message they receive early on from our churches, our family groups, our politicians and ultimately from society as a whole is that they are so evil that nothing can redeem them.

Gay marriage helps single gay men. Seething Mom then quotes a letter by a 27 year old gay man, who sent it to Andrew Sullivan.

For the first time since I came out, I feel forced to look at the fact that I am not just in this for dating, for sex. Maybe if I were older, I would already have an identity hardened against being defined by society, and it would not matter so much. But we are on the way to a world where society will accept my relationships, and I will not be able to use outsider status as an excuse for any behavior.

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